Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James

I always admit that I have read Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L James. I'm also quick to follow up that I didn't read the second or third installment, that I hated the book, and that I think it should still be something everyone is free to experience and enjoy.

I found the book to be one of the most frustrating experiences of my book-reading life for three reasons:

1. There is horrible sentence structure and too much repetition.
Some sentences aren't even sentences, inner goddess.
2. The plot is based on unrealistic sex and an unrealistic development of a relationship that is sick.
I'm not talking about the sex. I'm talking about the idea that a woman with little self-confidence, should or would, stick it out for some troubled, abusive (physically, mentally, and emotionally) man who doesn't want a relationship. It's all good, inner goddess, you can save and change him and be happy in the end.
3. I dislike the fact that this book spurred some kind of sexual revolution or awakening.
Either my inner goddess had never heard of porn before, had never read any number of erotica or romance novels, or she was just too repressed to enjoy it. But a bad pseudo-relationship and some boring-girl-gets-the-guy plot totally sexes things right up. BDSM! Slapping! Hair pulling! What utterly new ideas to bring to my bedroom. 

Even writing it now, I feel like I  can never adequately describe my frustration with the book. But I think this write up by Dave Barry for TIME is pretty much perfect. And it's hilarious. Enjoy!